View From Here

 Blog draft April 6 26 Dates Today would have been my parents’ 90 th wedding anniversary. They have long been dead, Dad in 1998 and Mom in 2018. But the date remains in my memory. Most likely it will continue so. Why is a question unneeded to answer. It just is. In my memory. Like my birthday I suppose, and those of others in my central family circle. But friends?  I doubt that. In fact, other than one or maybe two, I don’t recall the dates. Months and seasons I have correct, but not specific dates. The Ides of March of course are March 15 th . Does each month have an ides? I suppose so, why else only in March? Of course, Christmas Day is December 25 th and that has been so for my lifetime and yours as well. It is a made-up date, of course, not marking the specific date of Jesus’ birth. Calendar gurus of the time period selected the date for its season and relation to other public dates of note. New Years Day is easy enough, as are those of July 4 th or any ot...

  Blog draft April 3 26 DUI Recent news reports about Tiger Woods’ DUI recalls the sad reality of issues relating to drinking while under the influence of alcohol. Everyone who drinks wonders about this because each of us has driven after a drink or two. I wondered if I was impaired. I wondered if I would be charged with a DUI if I were involved in an accident while having consumed any alcohol. When my driving after a few drinks worried me I didn’t do anything about it until I worried a bit too much. I then swore off alcohol. Period. Rocky helped me sign into alcohol rehab. The program involved one week in hospital, two weeks of half-day hospital sessions, and seven months of weekly group sessions. I lost my desire for alcohol in the first week, but the rest of the program ensured I stayed off drink forever. It has been 20 years since then and I have remained sober through it all. But Tiger’s experience reminds me the decision is very personal and difficult to make. Even ...

  Blog draft April 1 26 Bits & Pieces I-Phone Worries : New phone. Motorola after years of Samsungs. Automated ads dominate the phone and jam storage capacities. Routine apps simply are too slow now and finding the phone function itself is often too hard to activate. I’m sure there is a solution,  but it will cost money for what is truly unnecessary. I’m planning to ask the store I bought the phone from to fix it. If not, I will toss the phone and buy a Samsung. Well, I did visit the store. They spent at least 15 minutes on it and cleared all of the nasty viruses and gave me back a phone that truly worked. How wonderful they were! Metro T-Mobil in West Chicago on Main Street. Knowledgeable and friendly staff. The best. Iran War : Destruction. Death. Injuries. Civilians scattered to the winds. Chaos as norm. Expenses for everyone. And now regional chaos is spreading to several nations. This is not about keeping Iran from becoming a nuclear nation. It is about region...

  Blog draft mar 30 26 Unresolved My sister Carol died January 6, 2026. This was 6 days before her 84 th birthday on January 12. She had been in a nursing facility for several months and had hired an estate manager in Arizona. Instructions were to forward remaining property items to our older brother in Rochester, New York. The house and car had been sold, and furniture had been disposed of as well. All that remains is settling her assets to charities and individuals she has chosen. So far, all is going smoothly and I doubt any delays will be encountered. That seems to be resolved. What is not resolved is Carol’s odd sense of family. She worshipped chosen family and made it known that birth family was inferior. She pretty much dedicated her life to chosen others and quietly left birth family in the dust. She said as much to me several times over the years. Once, she absented herself from my wife and I for 21 years. Calling her last known phone number in Chicago, I was info...

  Blog draft mar 27 26 Grit A friend asked me to write about dogs. This was several years ago. I did and suddenly found myself focusing on the grit our pets encounter in their lives. You know the kind of grit I’m talking about, the small bits of sand and stone, pebbles even, that they walk on daily outdoors. This is the grit they track into our homes on hard surfaces, and the stuff that gets stuck in their paws and between their toes. We deal with grit. Small but stubborn. We sweep it and vacuum it. We pry it out of our pet’s feet when we find them limping about. Otherwise, we forget the grit. It just is. We live with it, deal with it. Another form of grit is miscellany details. Lots of them. Most unimportant, but some of them are consequential. We deal with them also, sorting them out and ignoring the least of them, while adjusting our actions for those with consequences. We learn to do this autonomically. Not ignored but dealt with stealth and supposed purpose. Nearly ign...

  Blog draft mar 25 26 Empathy Not long ago, perhaps 2 or 3 years, I told my older brother I am gay. He sucked in air, shocked at the news. He had no idea this was a factor in my life. Later that same year, I visited him in New York and he said something that surprised me. He said he thought my being gay may be the reason my life has been so successful helping people. That had been my career, working with nonprofits serving other people. I worked with volunteers of all sizes, ages, and experiences. All were working to help other people to build successful, sustainable lives. I thought about his idea. I had not thought my being gay had any impact on my career. Perhaps he was right. Maybe my personal struggles with knowing who I was as a total person helped me recognize other people’s struggles. Struggles of any kind, not sexual identity. The more I thought about it, the more I came to believe my brother’s point was spot on. Feeling alone in the world is part of becoming awar...

  Blog draft mar 23 26 Plodding Along After many years of living on a small income, mainly Social Security, I now have my university retirement income that had been going to my ex-wife before her recent death. Suddenly I had disposable income. A relief certainly but also a sense of future opened up. The first thing I did was lease a new car. This would allow road trips. I used to do road trips annually, sometimes twice. That is my basic nature – following the hood ornament to new places and experiences. Of course, that purchase meant higher insurance premiums, but not gas. The new car is a hybrid and gets 35+ mile per gallon. I drive less than 300 miles per month and the car goes 430 miles on a tank, so I see the gas station rarely. The first road trip is being planned to New Mexico and Arizona. The suspense is killing me. I’ll share how that unfolds while on the trip which starts April 25. Other than that, I’m sitting a lot, watching a lot of YouTube videos and writing t...

  Blog draft mar 20 26 Travel Plans A start date was selected, then an approximate end date was calculated. I packed a bag, usually a small duffel or two, then set off in the wee hours of the selected morning. Usually, 3:30 or 4 am. That got me on the road out of our urban area with the least traffic. Breakfast was in Springfield, Illinois, then gas in St. Louis, lunch in Springfield, Missouri, and dinner and motel in Oklahoma City that evening. About 14 hours of driving and 1000 miles. Early the next day I would head off west toward Albuquerque. Usually arrive for lunch and a motel. Dinner later after a nice rest. Then, early the next morning off to Gallup for breakfast and gas. Afterward, a nearby crossing into Arizona, a zippy drive to Flagstaff and down I-17 to Phoenix. In my case it was Sun City and my parents’ home. I say usually because I did this trip at least annually for about a dozen years. The route home was normally through interesting parts of New Mexico and Color...

  Blog draft mar   18 26 Bits & Pieces Tech and Ageing : Everywhere I turn these days is a request for digital data entry. Doctor visits, medical lab entry and more require digital entries. Almost everything on the phone and computer needs digital confirmations and I’m used to that. I was just surprised with two medical appointments yesterday. I watch other elders surprised by the requirement. I watched them struggle with doing it although it was really was simple. Lately I have been struck how much technology confronts my daily life. If the systems are working well, I’m OK. If they aren’t, holy moly! I’m hoping there are people who can help those of us who age out of tech ability one of these days! Hybrid & EV Vehicles : Rising gas prices pose an expensive road trip out west to Arizona and New Mexico this spring, but my hybrid will get great gas mileage, about 38 mpg. Full EVs (electric vehicles) will get better mileage, most likely above 50 mpg. Either way, t...

    Blog draft mar 16 26 Once There Was a Day The past is past until it isn’t. How true that statement is. On the surface it doesn’t make sense but scratch lower and it does. When I was a lad, the world seemed huge and complicated. Where did our street go? Where did it begin and end? Surely these things could be answered? But we had no way of knowing the answers unless an adult was willing to tell us, better yet show us. What’s on the other side of the mountain? A drive will make that apparent. So too, will comparing today’s question with experience from the past. We can and do bring such forward to help us understand the present. In doing that we also understand the past a bit better. Doing leads to knowing if we do it right. Idly maneuvering through life skips the lessons, however. We do that, not always, but we slip by important lessons to be learned often. I have lived in many states and climate zones. I understand each one fairly well because of my experiences...

  Blog draft mar 13 26 Chat Group Wanted. A chat group. For elder me. Gay elder men. Not a date matching service, a chat group invitation. Can you imagine how hard this is to arrange? Try impossible. Every time I attempt this, I get date matching websites beating down my door insisting I’m looking for a one on one date with another guy. Actually, I am not. I am looking for a group of guys to chat about our common experiences. I want this group to be of other gay men and preferably in their 70’s and 80’s. I suspect these fellows will have some interesting perspectives to share. In my dotage (82+), I’m thinking sharing ideas and experiences will be more interesting than dating. I am not opposed to dating, but doubt I’d be any good at it this late in the game. Besides, I’m not certain my equipment will function as others would hope. No, I’d rather talk about things that matter and understand how those matters add up to deeper meaning and intelligence. I suspect interesting...

  Blog draft mar 11 26 Remember Epstein Files Yes, recall all the details surrounding the Epstein issue. Remember the women and children who were trafficked and victimized physically, sexually, by adult males in the power elite from throughout the globe. Remember what those victims endured. Now, focus your attention on the two organized and managed the grotesque doings. Remember Epstein and his sidekick Ghislaine. Note in your remembering the power and influence the elite perpetrators of the attacks were government and business leaders. These are the people who have outsized influence over affairs that directly affect all of us. Consider the sense of entitlement they felt. Think of their disengagement from responsibility and duty as they pursued their own pleasures in private spaces an on a private island. Shudder with me as we sense how our values have been flung away by these people. Think again of the victims and then shudder again with me. Remember. Epstein. Ghislaine...

Blog draft mar 9 26 Pulling It Together There are many ways to get organized, become a focused mind, or whatever. Endless possibilities pop to mind. However, when I settle into this task, I find focus somewhat absent. Which topic is more important? Is something holding me back from accomplishing something important? What purpose am I serving? Is that aimless or impactful? The answers are as varied as the topics are under consideration. What do we pull together, why this one first and not second? And so, this inner mind discussion goes on. And on! Categories of topics grabbing my attention are these: world affairs, national political news and the direction they are trending, personal family matters, personal purpose questions,  travel opportunities, writing topics, financial management, and so on. I am not sure if it is normal, but I spend time wondering if I have spent my life accomplishing worthwhile aims. Did the work and time invested in such activities pay off? How is t...