View From Here

We received word Monday that Rocky will come home from the nursing home this Friday, March 3rd. Both his physical therapy rehab and nursing care results are strong enough for him to return home and sustain his own care. Much remains to be done. Home health care still needs to be arranged. The feeding tube needs to be removed. A new regimen of meds and exercise must be followed. And of course all the daily routines of any household must resume. How all of that plays out is yet unknown, but it will be accomplished one day at a time. Meanwhile, we celebrate Rocky's return to home, his own bed, his own big screen TV, and a home scene far different from a nursing home.  Thank you to all who have been on this journey with us. Your encouragement, prayers and virtual hugs were key to his recovery. February 28, 2023

Growing up my parents kept me aware of family relations, their generational relationship and so forth. I knew my aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, of course, and how they were related to each set of my aunts and uncles. It did get confusing, especially as more generations were referred to. In those days we had photo albums. Each picture had a name and sometimes a date. We asked questions about who they were. Mom and dad gave us the details. We learned this information. We remembered it. Well, not all of us. My sister disliked this data, thinking it boring and inconsequential. Today, youngsters don’t have photo albums like we did, but they do have electronic records of photos. I doubt they are labeled and discussed with parents to better understand the relationships involved. That leads me to wonder if today’s kids know who their aunts, uncles and cousins are. For me keeping track of cousins was very difficult. As an adult – aging at that! – knowing the generations is more ...

With the Chicago Mayor’s race, it is amazing how many people think they have a better solution to the city’s ills, and how much better their management will be than the incumbent. Taking pot shots at the incumbent is old school, during the term and especially during election campaigns. But one thought strikes me every time. If these candidates really support the city, and think they have a good idea on how to solve problems, why don’t they get involved year-round to offer advice, counsel and volunteer effort? Why don’t they help the incumbents build successful futures for the city and its many, diverse inhabitants? The crime problem has been around for over a hundred years. Lots of different solutions have been tried. Some worked well, others did not. But crime continued just the same, like death inevitably follows birth. Same with problems with the public education system. Transportation challenges, too. And safety of air, soil and water? What can we all do about those issues. M...

When your days are consumed by abnormal events, things that stretch routines to unimaginable shapes and functions, the ordinary becomes nearly invisible. Attention is spent on the unusual, even the emergent before we understand what it means. Long term thoughts are pulled from the new happenings. The impact is felt before it is understood. The niggle of consequence soon becomes the concern. What will anything mean when time is added to the happening? What new norm may be forming as we experience the odd event or two? Will this be a long-term feature of life for me, for us? It is the absence of norm that makes us take notice. Then the mind takes over and soon it is conjuring the effects that may be felt. It causes worry. It creates its own focus. And the old routine features of life are overshadowed. Mealtimes seem to morph into new patterns. Substance of meals shifts to simpler and quicker fare. Dressing is more direct and functional rather than stylish or expressive. The car goes ...

Five weeks of separation, soon to be six, the loss of companionship is felt. Deeply. Starkly.  Yet the feeling was hesitant, almost not noticed. Being alone. Rearrangement of daily routines. Only one for breakfast. No one to talk to. No one to tend to. The other person in life was absent. The absence became noticeable. Longing for normalcy replaced his presence. Was this a form of cognition? An omen of the future? The beginning of grieving? Focus on routine changed. Meals became spotty, often skipped. Bedtime shifted every night. Gone were 8 hours of continuous sleep. Now it was sleeping in spurts of 45 minutes or an hour and a half. Then two hours here and three hours there. And naps, of course. Naps became urgent remedy to poor sleeping habits. A common multitude of tasks and interests became singular. Now it was client appointments, and then it was a visit to the nursing home. Long term planning was scant. Less and less permanence of tasks were present. Waking hours, sleep...

At first annoyance. Little things not done. Big things skipped. Then behavior began to falter. The evidence was first unexplained behavior. Uncharacteristic missteps. Faltering movements. Missed handles. A foot placed in the wrong position, then a trip, and a fall. The falls were happening too frequently. Then, food left on plate. Mealtimes became time consuming affairs. Still there was food left on the plate. Then skipped meals. Couldn’t be certain. But the food was being tossed from the plate, scraped into the garbage disposal or the waste can. Medications had always been a regime. Time consuming and daily. Rhythmic opening and counting out of pills. Scheduling blood sugar tests, adjusting insulin pump settings, and still more pills. This routine became sketchy. No longer routine. Odd times popped up. The schedule was off. In later days the trip to the bathroom became arduous and lengthy. Not in steps, only measured in time. Then a call for help, the necklace panic button t...