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 For the first time in 12 years, I am taking a short vacation from blogging. Rocky's situation remains in question. Yesterday, he was supposed to transfer to physical therapy rehab. The facility, however, declined at the last minute, stating they didn't have the nursing skills Rocky needs.  The hospital caseworker then working with two other facilities, one closer to home. Hopefully the move to rehab will be this week. Rocky is in his 9th day of hospitalization. That is far beyond the overnight for observation originally contemplated.  The larger issue, of course, is can Rocky really take care of himself at home? Or will he require 24/7 caregiving?  If the latter, I am not able to fill that bill. I think the medical team knows this and is attempting to give Rocky an opportunity to get well and care for himself a little longer, or assign him to a nursing home permanently.  I speak of normal issues of aging. This is not a story to attract pity. We all must deal wi...

My usual readers know that our household is in upheaval. Rocky is in hospital with several unresolved issues. Medical team has a plan and it is being managed now. They hope to stabilize Rocky’s conditions, one with the several others. When stable, they will move him to a physical therapy rehab center. There Rocky will work his way back to caring for himself including eating on schedule and with appropriate nutrition. He will be taught afresh how and when to take all medications as directed. He will return to dressing himself and moving about the apartment with confidence. The medical team thinks this will take 2 to 3 weeks of intense therapy. It will also give the team time to assess how reliable Rocky’s return to health is. If they are not convinced, he will likely be moved to a nursing home facility where meds and diet are well managed. With two people in the household rapidly approaching 80 years of age, the team does not want to bury the well spouse with caregiving duties. Such...

 A brief posting this morning. Rocky is doing well with the feeding tube. IV feeding and hydration doing well. His vitals are good, too. Stamina and flexibility returning. His mood is better, and his physical therapy is on the rise.  All things remaining stable, Rocky should be moved to a rehab facility for regaining muscle tone and function. After 2 or 3 weeks of PT rehab, an assessment will be made to either return home or go to another care facility.  Right now, there is hope. We cling to that. January 20, 2023  

Rain. Clouds. Dim daylight. Even gloomier moods to accompany the weather. Days of this for now. Temps hovering at 37 to 39 for 18 hours or longer. Even overnight. Weird winter weather for Illinois. Then add hospital visits and even gloomier possibilities. This is not pleasant. Not easy. But then, many of you have already experienced this. It is one of life’s happenings to be expected. To be survived, at least by the survivors. The patient not so much. I’ll leave this posting here. Still not knowing what is yet to be. Moments and days unfold as they will. No control. Just the ‘is’ of life. January 19, 2023  

It started with eating less food. That grew to skipping meals entirely. It was so subtle it wasn’t much noticed by others. Long meals with less and less food actually going into the mouth. Spread around the plate, yes, then just staring at the uneaten food. Then the sleeping at odd times of the day. Napping in the chair, slumping over while getting dressed and napping even then. Soon less movement became evident. We went to his doctor, and I told the story, tentatively and without any certain knowledge. The doctor looked at me. Knowingly? He offered at-home care in which medical staff visit the home and avoid the patient traveling to clinics. We accepted. I challenged Rocky. Was he giving up? What was his intent? His answer was vague. Eventually he said he wanted to tell his story to his kids and grandkids. I agreed this was a good purpose to work on. I promised to help him with the writing, the telling of his story. I even wrote the barest outline to get him started. No action y...

Somebody won the mega millions lottery. For $1.3 Billion. That’s a B for billion. They bought the ticket in Maine, first time a major winner in the lottery won in Maine. Of course this is big for Maine, but also for the family that won the big bucks. We notice these things. They are big. Like getting a cancer diagnosis, or years later, a cancer-free diagnosis. These are life and death things that cannot go unnoticed. But what about the other things, the little ones? I know I think about such things. So do you. Most of us do. And why is that? Because in the main that is what our lives are built around – the little things, not the big. Getting married, having kids, buying the first house, that sort of thing, those are big to us in our lives, but to others those are the happenings of life. Everyone experiences these events, or nearly everyone. That’s what makes them little things. To us they are big, to others they are not. Other little things are the cocoon of weather, or climate...

Today is Friday and several items will unfold. First is blogging. Second is laundry to clean up issues from last evening, you know, bathroom issues of the elderly. Then this morning we prepare for a round of doctor appointments. Morning one for Rocky. Afternoon is for me. Rocky’s conditions continue to mount. Will this day be notable for a turnaround? Or will he be hospitalized to stabilize his situation? Time will tell. We have only to live through the moments of the day to live the reality. Afternoon appointment is long overdue for George but welcome to address COPD issues. Recent falls have kept CPAP use at zero. Oxygen remains a staple, though. And sleep and diet. All of those are well. Of course, mealtimes must be managed throughout the day. Rocky’s food intake has been minimal of late. His schedule has been so erratic somedays we are fortunate if he eats one full meal. I know the doctor will tell us three are required. Believe me, I push snacks these days just to keep his cal...

As age creeps up ability to manage multiple tasks simultaneously goes down. This didn’t used to be. I handled many chores at the same time. Seemed totally natural. Then. Today it is a miracle. Why not prepare your toothbrush while finishing the electric shaver’s routine? Why not hang bath towels at the same time counting out pills to take? And the attire of the day? Hanging on the bathroom door ready for donning at the close of the shower. Same with setting the table for breakfast while pouring juice, gathering food items, and so forth. Multi-tasking was most evident in the office. Sorting files while preparing word document prep. Listing phone calls to make while arranging the day’s calendar. Jotting down notes on casework to be handled during the day. It was all of a piece and made sense. Today, not so. The mind swims with small details and just checking the clock for the time is an interruption of focus on other things. A phone call upsets the entire day’s schedule. Rocky’s ne...

Today is my sister’s 81 st birthday. January 6 th was my dad’s birthday, my brother’s is June 29 th , my mom’s February 24 th . We remember these dates, like my daughter’s is November 8 th , my son’s is December 14 th , Rocky’s is November 28 th . We live with these dates. They are second nature to us. A plethora of dates come to mind, all birthdays. Of course, there are those dates that we remember culturally – 4 th of July, December 25 th , January First, and so on. We add key historical remembrances, too. Over time our calendar year shapes itself. An anniversary – own wedding(s), family wedding dates, too – and of course graduations of key interest – college, graduate school, same for our own children. I think of September 11 th each year in horror of that very specific day. And so we build a year-long memory string of key dates. With 365 days in a year, I guess it is human nature to break down the larger number into a managed few. The mind becomes ordered and more human. ...

Lots of details are involved in managing any organization. Whether it is a small business or giant corporation, details multiply with the expansion of staff, functions, products and services. Non profit organizations are just as complicated as for profit organizations. Then we get to government. Even bigger. Scope and scale of services and functions are much larger still. Think of the military. Think of education standards and programs for an entire nation and take into account the rights of states in determining their own educational vision for their people. Then account for criminal justice, police powers, regional police powers, federal and state courts, and all the prisons, penal programs and human services involved. Health and human services for those of us not involved in the penal system. Policy generation and regulatory oversight for countless industries and services. The previous paragraph deals with operations and some policy. But the machinery that makes all of that happ...

A long-time neighbor died at 78 just before New Year’s Day. He had suffered from Alzheimer’s and declined quickly. Erratic behavior led to memory care facility, soon thereafter hospice. That lasted less than a week and he was gone. A life of service as a pastor. A life of caring for others and empowering them as well. In urban or suburban areas, and out of state as well. He was a pastor to thousands during his career. Meanwhile he was a father, grandfather and neighbor. Paul was a silent soul and did not call attention to himself. He attracted attention only by his steadiness and attention to detail. He liked his cars clean and tidy. In the land of Lincoln, the home of the never clean car, that is a tall order. Yet, every Saturday come rain, shine or snow, Paul was out there washing his cars, drying them off and then pulling them into the garage. His driveway was as neat and tidy. After every snowfall, he scraped the surface clean so the cars were kept clean, too. There comes a...

Surprise? No. Kevin McCarthy is the new Speaker of the House. All it took was a lot of compromise from conservative holdouts to once again prove Republicans have manipulation power but little leadership oomph. Troublemakers, not governors. The saga of an ineffective House of Representatives and a warrior Senate keeps the federal government from doing its job effectively. It is a sad sight to behold. An even sorrier realization to conclude. Climate change deniers will continue to keep our nation from solving the crisis that threatens survival of humankind. Conservatives will continue to fight for their definition of freedom all the while removing freedom from individuals – abortion being one of these freedoms. Meanwhile, poverty, educational mediocrity, and lowest common denominator thinking will continue unabated among the majority of do-nothings and poor thinkers. This is what corporate power in the American democracy looks like. I guess there is more room for more Trumps. A s...

Today would have been my father’s 112 th birthday. He lived to 88, cut short of family averages of 95 due to medical complications. Still, a long life well lived. My mother lived past her 104 th birthday, living beyond her eldest sister’s 102 years of age at time of death. This had been a goal of mom’s for quite some time. She died happy to have bested Aunt Eva! As a kid I remember thinking any age near 60 was ancient. In fact, in those days average age at death was probably around 64. Today that number is around 78. My current age is 79 so I am past the average already. When young, each birthday is an achievement. We celebrate the maturing child to mark progress and accumulating talent. Later in life, we mark each birthday as a point of survival. Living through those birthdays is another experience, however. Health issues define much of elder lifestyles. The aches and pains are to be expected and at times they limit movement and activities away from home. As medical conditions...

Once in a blue moon, perhaps every two or three years, the toilet seat needs replacement. In this apartment, the replacement came after 5 years of use. The replacement lasted less than two years. Replacing it was every bit the challenge I feared. First was setting out to visit the hardware store. Second was the worry and concern as to the size, shape and quality. Third, was the effort required to leave the car and get into the store while stumbling and threatening a fall. Once those hazards were survived, the shopping experience unfolded. Staff told me where the toilet seats were on display (all the way back, to the left corner, of course!). The display answered all of my feared questions quite easily. Solid plastic not painted wood that is easily chipped or scratched. Size and shape were easy peasy, not at all the concern I thought it would be. The stock, however, was broad in selection but sparse in actual goods to take out of the store. Seems my selection was unavailable with the ...

Have you ever sat in a parked car at a large grocery store? Say a Target big box store? I have, in fact, weekly. That is our grocery shopping schedule and I sit in the car while Rocky goes in for his reminiscence of long ago years. He was raised in his mom and pop’s grocery store and worked there for many years. To this day he loves fingering packaged goods and reading their labels. He observes where products are placed and the logic behind that placement. He contemplates brands and evolution of new products. Yes, Rocky really likes grocery stores. These days he uses an electric cart, fills it in over an hour or so, moving slowly throughout the store. At check out, the staff know him. Bag boys compete to accompany him out to the car and unload his cart. I understand that part of the trip, but I still don’t see how Rocky gets the best part of his week by tottering into a grocery store. I often feel guilty just sitting in the car. While there, I read or nap. But mainly I watch. The...

Cycle of Life : New Year’s Day reminds us of new beginnings. The lesson is well known and learned over the years. We learn it when very young and are reminded annually of the lesson. In later years, however, we are startled to learn that life has cycles with related other cycles extending outward like ripples on a lake. Cycles. Circles. Intersections of circle edges. Overlaps. Interaction endlessly moving through time with an expanding circle of cycles and intersections. What is old is new again. What is new has been around for centuries. Distractions are the culprits to losing sight of the cycles. Hidden Obvious : dealing with daily details of life usually distracts us from the simplest of solutions. The answer to many problems is staring us in the face. I know this doesn’t seem accurate, but my work with entrepreneurs starting up their new businesses teaches me this over and over again. The answer is normally logic. Break the problem down into its component parts and handle eac...

The new year starts with possibilities and problems. One of the latter is Israeli leadership by conservative and damaged Netanyahu. He has been at the helm of Israel’s government before. And for many years. He has also been defeated a few times. Yet he finds staying power and returns to yet another regime opportunity. I don’t much care for Netanyahu. That’s because he is a hard task master for his point of view and the politics of survival for his nation. Yes, Israel is not loved by other nations in her region. But Israel has a confusing foreign policy that often makes enemies. Netanyahu has been in the center of these policy swings. America has long been a supporter of Israel – both its right to exist, and its success as a nation of value and promise. Alone in the middle east, Israel is an accomplished state. It has military competency that is worthy of a much larger nation. Its educational system is tops and produces enormous research benefits as well as cutting edge professional...