Blog draft jan 14 26

Continuing Grief

As one ages, death of others increases in frequency. This is normal. Oftentimes difficult to process, but normal just the same.

Losing a life partner is one of the heaviest sources of grief. Loss of a child must be the heaviest of all, one, thankfully, I have not experienced. Loss of siblings is an eye opener to ones own lease on life.

Two and half years ago I lost my life partner, Rocky, to two cancers and a long list of medical conditions. Accordingly, his death was long expected and prepared for. Just the same, his loss is a major issue in my life.

Then, two years later, my ex-wife’s husband died, followed by my ex-wife herself. And now, my sister has died on January 7th. Just days from her 84th birthday, Carol died of emphysema. She had been in a nursing home for several months and we were prepared for her demise. The reality of it, however, contains the shock. We remember the decades of interactions and shared life experiences. It reminds me of my own life expectancy.

So, four significant losses in two years. Surely there is more to come. That is the way of life. It is the reality of our existence, plain and simple. Lessons beckon their value. Are we learning? Are we gaining knowledge we need to know?

I think the real lesson is just this: we should be living life at its fullest. We don’t get a second chance at it. There are no re-runs.

Just before Christmas I bought a new car, one with zero miles on it, ready for travels I have missed these past several years. I once traveled the southwestern deserts annually visiting my retired folks in Arizona. With their deaths and my health issues, plus Rocky’s decline, travel has been near zero. My last car had 140,000 miles on it and unsuitable for long road trips. I decided I had places yet to go and refused to give up on that. So, the new car.

Next spring I will venture to New Mexico and Arizona. I want to visit New England again and see friends of long ago. I also want to drive to Glacier National Park in Montana. That is likely not doable, but it has been a long held dream of mine. Who knows? I might make it yet.

Driving, travel, visiting old familiar places and visiting friends is a major interest of mine. Always has been. That is one form of living fully for me. Now I can indulge in it to the extent possible. Rekindling first hand knowledge of neighborhoods and institutions that have held importance over the years is another interest. Visiting campuses of yore, eating at some of the great old restaurants, and attending some concerts are examples of living my best. I hope and intend to do these things. I’ll let you know how well this happens. Or not!

January 14, 2026

 

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