Sexuality

A continuation of my last post, coming to know one is gay or straight is only one dimension to be settled. The other is how to act within the gender identity. What does one do to be gay, or straight for that matter. And no, I will not get into prurient material here.

No. That is not necessary.

At least I don’t think so. But hell, watch any TV drama or movie, sexual activity is apparently assumed to be necessary. Steamy scenes of actors going at it is practically in every program. Often, those scenes seem completely unnecessary. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. Ask around. I’m not alone. Neither are you. Sex is everywhere in today’s entertainment industry.

Which leads me back to physical activity that expresses sexuality. How does anyone know how to act? There are no classes in this. At least there weren’t in my early years. I doubt they exist today. Oh sure, there are books, magazines, videos and a host of other efforts to ‘teach’ people about sex. But these are usually commercial efforts to make money. A lot of these efforts are illegal. Times are changing, though, and some may be inching toward legitimate commercial status.

I can tell you I didn’t have any idea on what I was supposed to do to be gay. I didn’t know how to meet other guys. I didn’t know what to say to them. I didn’t know how to treat them, touch them, or indicate an interest in them. I was a flub of jitters. Then and now. Time has not been kind to my discovery of norms within my specific world.

I know this must frustrate people, the others I meet. But Lord, really? What is the answer here?

My move forward is usually a stumble. In past encounters that has come to work. Cause and effect are not all that complex. But chic? Smooth? Gallant? Hardly. Very clumsy, indeed. I feel very much a babe in the woods.

Maybe that’s OK. Maybe that is me just being me. The real problem becomes; do I grow in these matters or shuffle backwards into a protective crouch of doing nothing?

I would like to be free to express myself and feel things like those actors on stage or screen. They seem to be having fun and completely at ease. But are they? How deep do their doubts run? What are their unanswered questions? Do they even have them?

Surely, I am not alone in all of this, am I?

See? I freely admitted I didn’t know much about this topic. Still don’t. Well hell!

October 25, 2024

 

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