Making One’s Way

We are a diverse society. Multiple talents, points of view and nationalities, and that’s likely to be in each family! We are blessed to be this way. Nothing boring about American life. So much is unexpected and constantly changing.

So why do we often focus on difference? Why do we feel compelled to point out how one person is different from another? Do we also add tales about behavior of that person and suggest it is related to his/her background? Quite often that is the case.

It may seem obvious to some, but who and what we individually come about from so many things. Gender is one, age is another, place of birth still another, nationality of birth and of heritage is a biggie, and yet there are more ‘things’ we latch onto as determinants of behavior. Really, very little exists to suggest any of this is true.

Research in psychology, sociology and other disciplines have not found concrete determinants of behavior. That is because so many interacting differences exist with each of us. The blend is too different from others to make easy conclusions. It is just too complex.

Having said this, I am not sure what action, if any, I would suggest. We could just smile at the other person making the conclusions and say, “that’s one viewpoint to consider.’ Of course, we could also smile and ignore the comment entirely. Make no comment. Pointing out another person’s disagreeable comment is not a pleasant task. I believe in public discussions, not debates. The one attempts to come to a better understanding of the topic, while the other is all about winning the argument. This is one of those instances where winning is losing.

Making one’s way in the world is challenging. It is interesting and educational. It is one way to understand topics of interest, but also a method of getting to know someone better. Building a relationship on depth of issues has its own rewards. It also makes me a better listener, thinker and conversationalist. Fairness emerges as a behavior that teaches others how to act better than they often do.

Being right or wrong is not the point of this discussion. Being open and willing to learn more is the point. It also helps others consider wider options of facts leading to a more accurate understanding of a complex topic. In this we all win.

May 24, 2024

 

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