Update on Rocky

I have not blogged in order to focus on Rocky and his hospice program. It is very much a 24/7 operation as one would assume, but even with hospice teams, 24-hour phone help line, and 2 caregivers providing 4 hours a day for six days each week, the 20-hour day remains with the family caregiver. In  this case, that is me.

At 80 this is no easy task. One would think the patient would sleep through the night and provide the family with the same hours for their sleep. That would be wrong. In Rocky’s case, he insists on bathroom visits every 1 hour or so, sometimes every 45 minutes. You can imagine how those wear on the family caregiver. No REM sleep. Too few hours of concentrated sleep. Naps do not make up for the difference.

As this process continues, the patient continues on his hospice journey. Remember Rocky’s term is 3 to 5 months. We are nearing the end of 3 months, only another week to go. The journey follows its own medical health line. It is a downward spiral, sometimes quick, sometimes very slow. Visitors see the change. Family members at home do not see the slight daily shifts in condition and behavior.

If I were pressed for an end date, I would hazard a guess for 2 to 4 weeks. I might be surprised at Rocky’s resiliency and his reaching 5 months. One never knows.

As I have written before, I have had no experience with hospice, caregiving or extended hospital and nursing home stays. Rocky’s situation offered me the full array of those. Not all pleasant. Certainly not all easy to perform or even appreciate. But, as the social worker and I agreed, this is life and it will be whatever it will be. We have no control over it. Neither does the patient and he has the heaviest role to play.

Family, friends, neighbors and caregivers continue to make this ordeal survivable. Thank you to all for your kindnesses and generosity. It is very much appreciated.

George Safford, May 18, 2023

 


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