Birthdays

Today would have been my father’s 112th birthday. He lived to 88, cut short of family averages of 95 due to medical complications. Still, a long life well lived. My mother lived past her 104th birthday, living beyond her eldest sister’s 102 years of age at time of death. This had been a goal of mom’s for quite some time. She died happy to have bested Aunt Eva!

As a kid I remember thinking any age near 60 was ancient. In fact, in those days average age at death was probably around 64. Today that number is around 78. My current age is 79 so I am past the average already.

When young, each birthday is an achievement. We celebrate the maturing child to mark progress and accumulating talent. Later in life, we mark each birthday as a point of survival.

Living through those birthdays is another experience, however. Health issues define much of elder lifestyles. The aches and pains are to be expected and at times they limit movement and activities away from home. As medical conditions accumulate, life truly does become more limited. Eating out is less desired because of limited diets and abilities. Merely keeping the place setting clean and tidy is a challenge. Getting to and from the car to the dining table is another challenge that grows more difficult as time goes by.

I don’t want to paint a bleak picture. No one wants to read about these things. Yet, it is a reality for aging people. We don’t want to display our infirmities in public, nor do we want to be a burden on others. It is heartening to observe how caring and helpful complete strangers can be, however. Ah yes!

I think I write this post to state the obvious: family and friends do not readily know of these difficulties unless they visit or invite the elders to their homes. Young kids are often uncomfortable witnessing a range of disabilities with grandparents. The whole reality experience is a message of life’s limitations. Life has a span of years, individual to each of us. Our end time will come. When is not up to us. Neither is the health condition leading up to the end.

I think these things ought to be shared and known more. Yes, it is sad when someone passes, but it is inevitable. That is a message each of us must learn and deal with. Best done by living up to our promise and ability. The negatives are always with us, but the positives take more work for us to add value to our lifespans.

January 6, 2023

    

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