Wearing Down

It is hard to feel happy in times like these. Elated? Maybe at something surprising happening that excites pleasure. Cooking aromas of a favorite dish. A steak grilling in the open air. Hamburgers sizzling on the Weber. Things like that.

Maybe it is a sound system coming to life with a favorite symphony, song, aria, whatever? I remember a technician once fixing my cable connection and attaching surround sound. Suddenly Mozart’s Requiem came to life in full, rich sound. I nearly swooned!

Every now and then we are treated to a prime rib dinner. When that plate comes to table, is set in front of me, I take a moment to smell the food, watch the juices glisten on the meat, then dribble down to engage with the baked potato. The sour cream and chives sinking into the burst-open baked potato, butter plopped on top, and the near opportunity of mixing a bite of that with the fresh juices streaming off the slab of prime rib. Wonderful. Awesome. Yes, senior citizens can use those words, too!!

Oh, I feel happy driving the car right after it is washed and cleaned inside and out. The smell of clean is present, the windshield really is clean, so are the side windows and the back window too. The sheet metal gleams, and you can almost sense the car moving through the air with a clean sweep, better gas mileage, silence and smooth ride. A clean car really runs better. You just feel it in your bones!

Watching your grandkids graduate from high school is a highpoint, too. Soon it will be college graduations; I wonder how that will feel, or even if I will be present to mark the occasion. A completion and a fresh beginning to a new phase of building futures. Such headiness. That is a pleasure of a different sort, but a pleasure deeply felt.

Sort of like weddings. I have attended a few that did not feel right. Deep inside I didn’t think the couple was ready for marriage, or maybe even were not right for one another. Can’t say that, of course, but I felt it. Most of the time I am proven wrong, and the couples do just fine, like most of us with ups and downs. Some, however, were spot on. Marriages failed as expected. Immature. Mismatched. So many things to survive in relationships.

But weddings are a high point of emotion, too. The first couple is happy, and it affects our feelings too. Then there is the celebration of all of us being together and enjoying relationships with fresh eyes.

As life moves through its phases for each of us, happiness is very different for each. Some people are struggling with declining health, others are suffering from career loss, financial stress, emotional stress, the whole gamut. We learn of fresh news of shootings, pandemics, inflation, supply chain disruptions, and so much more. Climate change, too, and the nasty voice of modern-day politics. All on the news. Front and center. Yes, it is a barrage of negatives. It is a cloud of doom.

Or not. How we receive the news and allow it to affect us is variable. Most of the time we are the secret to the variableness. Be concerned? React with anger, sorrow, or….? Or maybe just listen to it, be informed, and deal with it in another way later when I have considered it more fully. The latter is healthier. The latter is process. It still allows room for happy with other life pulses.

How is your emotional barometer these days? Upbeat? Or down? Holding up or wearing down? I feel your pain. You are not alone.

June 9, 2022

 

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