Don’t Say Gay

I can’t let this opportunity pass. Florida this week changed it’s public education laws to ban any kind of program, literature, or classroom talk about gender related topics in Kindergarten through 3rd grade. Opponents of the bill labeled this law the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. In essence, however, that is what the bill is about. Conservative republicans in Florida and elsewhere, claim this bill has nothing to do with gay, for or against. That is disingenuous. Surprise?

No. I am not surprised. The state that gave us Anita Bryant claims that gender talk has no place in public education, that only parents have the right to talk about such things with their children. Sounds reasonable, right? But it is not.

If parents were such good educators, why are there public schools? Why does society legislate the existence of public schools? Why do we have gender issues, politics and dysfunction within our society regarding matters of sex? Why?

Like banning books, banning talk is censorship. Censorship claims controls over professional judgment of a teacher, social worker, psychologist and other trained people whose job it is to determine what is appropriate learning material and what is not. Parents may have rights, but they also have duties. It is the latter that has been sadly lacking for decades.

If parents were doing their job adequately, why is there gun violence in schools? Why is there rampant truancy? Why is there ill prepared youth for careers? Why do we admit a problem with teen rapes, beatings, and bullying? Really? This is now suddenly the job of schools?

Well of course it is the job of schools. They know so much more than parents regarding methods that help develop kids and improve healthy learning. It is the job of the parents to complement what the schools can accomplish. Tying their hands behind their backs will not improve teacher performance.

Talking about any subject requires inputs of facts, study, research and opinions. Discussion becomes informed with these inputs. The right is better discovered, the wrong identified and discarded. This is how education takes place in the minds of each of us, not just kids. Age appropriate has its place, but when does a child ask about male and female, where babies come from, why social protocols are observed about boys and girls, men and women? When curious, they ask questions. What then are our answers?

I hope the answers come from ordered discussions with people prepared to provide good information. We should avoid whispered exchanges among kids in bathrooms, allies and unsupervised places.

Growing up, I had questions about gender and sex. Such was not discussed in our home. Nor in our church. Certainly not our schools’ classrooms. Not ever. I recall my college contemporaries asking the college to provide such education prior to graduating from college! I know times are different, but so is public entertainment and broadcasting standards for TV, radio and films. The kids are getting exposed to this material. Best if we anticipate and provide instruction to kids where they are free to ask questions and get good feedback.

I once told my dad that I wish he had talked with me about sex. He was embarrassed that he hadn’t, yet he was embarrassed to think he should do it and avoided the task. And that was about ‘normal’ sex. I certainly wasn’t about to talk to him about gay sex. Heck, I didn’t understand that at the time, but I knew something was brewing before graduating from high school.

Knowing things. asking about things. discussing those things. This is the stuff of everyday life. I think parenting requires honesty in such matters. If it is not available at home, though, it needs to be in schools.

Anita Bryant was wrong. Florida was wrong. This is still true. Today.

When will they learn? When will we care about all people?

March 11, 2022

 

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